Dear Loco,

Dear Loco, THIS time Luna went in to labour in my arms. Then had contractions in my arms. I went to grab a pizza from the door so the doorbell didnt spook her, and she chased me down and had him running behind me. 🥹 And then she kept chasing her tail because he hadn’t…

Dear Loco, I have a list so long, you could run a marathon, of things Not to do. What not to do, to get better. But I struggle with what to do instead. “Frame your desires in the affirmative.” How. A boon and a bane – to have enough distracting things to do and to…

Dear Loco, It is the first time in our history that Luna and I have had “alone time”. It was you, obviously. Then the flatmates. Now it’s just her and me. It’s nice, and complicated like Loons is. She screams a lot. I get it, and sometimes we have an argument about me getting enough…

Dear Loco, I miss him. I miss his delightedness. I sat down and just felt immense despair at what I’d lost. I was so in my ego. “What I’d lost” I’ve been thinking about the 5 Yamas, and it took me a while but I got there. Non-possessiveness. He wasn’t mine, he belonged to himself…

When I was 13 or 14 or 15 or 16 I read Eli Wiesel’s Night. Sometime after that I read Man’s Search for Meaning. I could not understand how you come out on the other side of the smell of burning flesh, and how you manage to preserve yourself in all of that. I wondered…

Luchador is gone.

Dear Loco, Booked to Cochin, for mum and I. I’m already missing Luch. 🙁 I can’t get a nice enough picture, but the moon is a lovely crescent shape smiling down at me. At us. Somewhere we’re looking upon the same sky.

Dear Loco, As I write this with one hand on my keyboard, and the other usurped by Lucha, I don’t think there is much I can say but this song Lucha and I are listening to:

Dear Loco, GOD WHY IS THIS STUPID BRAT SO FUCKING CUTE. I WANT TO PUT HIM IN AN ICE CREAM CONE AND SWALLOW HIS LITTLE PINK NOSE UP. He has so many shades. It’s roll in to my arms on my chest, cup my face (claws in), lick my entire lips vigorously and then start…