I met Sanjana today. I realised there’s so much sadness from all the things left unsaid from so many past injuries. I, also, realise nobody can meet your needs – you have to meet yourself first! At the same time, talking to her was so nice.
Being able to be vulnerable and say “I missed having you in my life” and being met with clear communication was very soothing. It’s been the same with Rachmalai too. Becoming friends, getting to see different versions of her where she parents me too and communicates with me is so soothing. There are these moments where she really shines and I never got to see her that way in the past with all the painful moments that festered between us.
I think I’d have easily let myself believe the stories people say about me without this. But now I’ve put this out in to the universe, and I know. Some day the knowing will come from within. Some day soon, I hope!
P.S. I, also, got a massage and it was very very nice.
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