Of oceans, and mountains!

Dear Loco,

All this work I want to do, feels so hard sometimes.

I want to be “securely attached”, I want to come from a place of “I’m okay, You’re okay”. I’ve had these tools for nearly a decade now, I want to put them in to practice.

It’s the demise of the ego, it’s shattering all my delusions I’d built to keep “this ego” safe, it’s being ready to be “nothingness” and “everything”.
It’s BIG, and at the same time all it requires is some faith because how do you cross the mountain of just letting all your failsafe mechanisms go?

Safety being my whole life agenda.
“Get to a place of safety, and then have fun”.
I’ve really been choking my own life force.

I’m slowly accepting life will be messy, and that’s FUN! Accepting where I’m at, and how I’m more than this moment. That I’ll get to where I want to go, as long as I want it (sometimes even when I don’t think I do).

I imagine a tree, tall and far-rooted. An axe can fell it, but is it any less majestic?
I imagine the ocean, stormy and far-reaching. You can poison and pollute it, but you cannot take away it’s depth.
I imagine a mountain, towering and safe. Dynamite can chip at it, but is it any less daunting?
I imagine you, kind and trusting. And you’ll always remain so, alive in your many magical qualities, within me.

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