Dear Loco,
I had a wonderful day, at the same time (in my exhaustion) I found all these worrying thoughts coming to me.
I tend to delay my deepest desire to when “x” is done. For right now, that is tidying up and putting things away from this crazy move.
For a moment, my heart felt encased in fear at what if I am wasting my time. What if we have war or famine or another great depression and I never have this time back. A possibility with some low statistic perhaps but I’ve realised all fears have validity. The choice is to live life true to yourself and open-heartedly.
I think the fear of open hearted living comes from being hurt by it. But then, I remember the choice I made against all odds to take two stray kittens home. This choice that brought me the greatest love of my life, I would not trade despite the greatest heartbreak.
I know you also chose to love me so immensely, and still you lived and left on your terms.
I hope I can choose the same for myself.
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