Dear Loco,

Ma called early in the morning and said Uncle G had passed. I didn’t really feel anything.

I spent the day being a scratch post for Lucha. He’s a fun dude.

I also spent the day working out my feelings. While I didn’t necessarily “Care” he was dead, I did have all these complicated feelings come up about the family.

I was so hurt by what Sam did, and Tiny. Love Joel. I just wanted to punch them. I kept going over everything and all the hurts inflicted and I rattled my proverbial fist in my head.

I don’t yet know how to make peace with this. Does it come up for every trauma as long as you’re in that environment? I’d think with true healing, not.

I pray for healing from the universe and for you as my spirit guide. I hope this means I don’t hoard you to myself. Surely, even in passing we leave something behind. A beautiful energy stored in a massive purple gemstone. Maybe red.

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