Nothing and Everything

Dear Loco,

My ego is battered. Humbling.

I’m not hurting, and that’s a comfort. I don’t have the energy to dissect, and that too is maybe a comfort.

The moon is beautiful today, also a comfort.

Alina will buy me a bottle of Greater Than. No, TWO bottles. Yes, that’s correct – a comfort!

I wish I had a brain off switch, and could submit to being nothingness. Of all the things I wished I’d be I never thought it would be nothingness. That there would be a spiritual connotation to it?!

I think back to that dark, inky, star speckled void that kept latching itself on to me. I didn’t think it was what I wanted and was looking for. Oh, the resistance!

Beautiful nothingness. Emptiness. Just a vast stretch of space. A window for the universe to seep in. Absolute quiet.

Today I am grateful for:
– Revelations of nothingness.
– My quiet grace – not all I wished it looked like but the progress is really remarkable.
– Your memory to hold me in nothingness.

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