Dear Loco,
Speaking of manuals, and scripts to life – I’ve always liked a perfectly chalked out path. It’s safer, but all signs point to life happening in the moments in between.
I’ve spent so much of my life seeking, instead of being. With you, there was no place else to be, but there in the moment. With everything I’ve ever hoped to create also – instead of being present in the moment I was in a future filled with doubt. With this blog though, when the doubts come, I hold onto the fact that our little love is enough to keep the embers burning. Because the purpose here is simply that I love you and miss you and like talking to you.
Sheky messaged, and we caught up. I told him about this blog, and he wrote back with a very kind message. I imagined, at first, this would be a quiet place for you and me. Then, I let a few people in who understood us and I was convinced only people who knew us would “get it”. But Sheky understood too. Grief and pain are universal, and it seems like everybody “gets it”.
I battle with “keeping this pure”, and not enjoying how seen I feel. But I am making peace with the fact that I am doing this for me, and what’s driving me is the love I have for you. You’ve probably moved on to your next calling, but we still have unfinished business.
My twinklecakes, I miss your snuggly butt.
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